Merk argiewe: Chuggs

Hugo v Chuggs in the battle of Love Island’s resident poshos – review

Hugo v Chuggs in the battle of Love Island’s resident poshos – review
Two rahs in the villa is one too many – one needs to go, for all our sakes

We need to talk about Chuggs.

It might seem unfair to pin blame so squarely on a cast member who has been in the villa for only 24 hours – especially since he has quite literally done nothing wrong – but “The Chuggs Problem” transcends one person. Its tendrils snake its way around the whole villa. More broadly, “The Chuggs Problem” is not so much linked to Chuggs himself, but the changing audience type of Liefde-eiland. As this show is memed, beamed and screened across the country, the choice of the cast is as much a reflection of the show’s exacting needs as it is our own. Producers, I’m afraid to say… you’ve got it wrong.

Liefde-eiland is a fantasy. In this fantasy, Hugo and Chuggs do not belong. At least not in the same season.

I do not want to see two tall, well-muscled rahs who know each other from their days at the Student Union. I do not want to endorse the ego of a privately educated man, so brazenly cocksure that he thought setting up a bucket hat empire was not only a good idea but one that he would willingly spend his time nurturing. More importantly, in this fantasy, the statement “Oiiiii the Oxford boys! We’re gonna go NUTS mate” is verboten. It’s banned. I simply do not want to hear it. And that is why, like a strange blood sacrifice to the Russell Group, one cannot live whilst the other survives. Hugo or Chuggs must go. For all of our sakes.

Moving on from our resident poshosthe latest announcement of a recoupling sent shivers down the spines of our sweet hunks. For Faye, the arrival of Welsh prince Liam offered some reprieve from the ongoing catastrophe of Brad, or as we know him now – The Hottie Who Cannot Speak. Inderdaad, Brad’s stint in the villa is a reminder to us all that those awkward teenage experiences are not for nothing. Being ugly in high school and having no date to your Year 11 Leavers Prom (sorry, I’m being quite specific here) actually makes you a more rounded person; a personality emerging from the ashes of self-esteem and helping you out later on in life. As someone who has literally never not been incredibly attractive, Brad is faced with a burning dilemma: How do you graft in a villa where everyone else is not only hot, but also asks questions in conversations?

It’s a problem that needs solving asap as the re-coupling saw Chuggs and Brad left out in the cold. As our new girl Rachel holds the decisive pick, the next twenty-four hours will see a battle of Brawns vs Chat. Who will come out on top?